I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
