Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
