Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
