You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
