I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
