He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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