i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
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He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
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Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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