hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize