I want her autograph on my taint
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
