Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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