Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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