This is not my ceiling
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
