i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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