just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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