Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
either way he was missing a nipple.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
