Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize