But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize