Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He has the fingertips of a God
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
