I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he fucked my hip out of place.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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