I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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