I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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