It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
