She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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