If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
