I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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