All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
