The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize