i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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