Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize