So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
