Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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