She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
