STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
