he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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