Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
