I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
