would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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