i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
