You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
