At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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