College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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