i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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