You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just invented taco cereal.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
