You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Life is so much better after having sex.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
