Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize