I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
