Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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