he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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