You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
