We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
