We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
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I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
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I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
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