Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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