Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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