Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
