She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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