I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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