I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
