yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize