My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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