I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
