I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
