u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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