btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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