Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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