Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
