Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
