Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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