Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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