i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
