i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
